The night after

posted in: Cancer and faith 0

This evening I could barely eat I felt so sick. Husband managed to eat. We must both have been in shock but he seemed better able to deal with it. He’s good at compartmentalising things, not stressing until he has the full picture (at which point he looks practically at what he can do about it – still no stressing).

I tried to sleep and failed. I tried to pray and failed. All I could think was ‘Oh God, Oh God’. 2 am came and went, 3 am the dog came quietly padding in and jumped up to say hi. I rugby tackled him for a cuddle. 3 am and still no sleep. My Bible caught my eye so I blearily picked it up. I didn’t feel awake enough to cope with much so I picked up a notepad where I write favourite Bible verses that strike me particularly as I read.

I read them slowly, turning them into prayers. I felt the panic subside. The dog snored gently next to me and I managed to smile in spite of the gnawing sickness still in my stomach. I even managed to sleep a bit 🙂 .

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