I’ve had to go away to work for a few days. I know husband doesn’t need me at home but I really didn’t want to go, like a dog not wanting to leave his post. Getting away from the business … Read More
We are both so tired – managing cancer and ME is not great. There is no let up with work, no temporary pass each time we have to confront the cancer with another hospital appointment. I’m tired of pretending that … Read More
Husband feels pretty good all things considered. He’s walking faster and more easily than he was during the first cycle. He isn’t sleeping well, though and the steroids are not exactly helping. His ankles are a bit swollen – seems to … Read More
We didn’t know what to expect with Husband’s first chemo but so far, apart from the really uncomfortable red eye thing, it’s going better than we’d expected. His scalp is very sensitive. He’s not sure if it’s the early stages … Read More
Husband is conscious of being breathless quite often but thinks it may be a chest muscle strain and that forgetting how to breathe properly may be partly responsible. He still has some discomfort after the splenectomy. He looks a bit … Read More
The platelets are down again – a definite trend since March – but still just in the normal range at 151. The red cells are 100 so not much change from 102 last time but given everything else it probably indicates … Read More
I think subconsciously I’m thinking that the cancer will really hit years after we’ve finished the business and sorted out the house – when we’re ready. Of course we’ll never be ready. We need to try though because if it … Read More
Cancer takes so much – hope for the future because this cancer is incurable – and even the present because we’re never quite sure how active it’s being. But cancer cannot take the soul. Husband isn’t sure he has one … Read More
I write this at a tiny port listening to small yacht masts chinking quietly in the breeze. It’s so peaceful. It’s as if we’ve been holding our breath for many months now, repeatedly grabbing a bit of air before the … Read More
One can’t prepare for loss. More than once in my life I’ve been sure I knew what was coming (eg my cancer that wasn’t) and mourned in advance. This overwhelming stress was pointless yet ultimately so good for me. I … Read More