Husband is on the 5th chemo out of 6. The paraproteins are down to 12.9, so the docs are happy with progress. Dr Dry Humour commented, “That’s a really good drop from January [43.6!] to now”. Yeahy! The red cells are holding their own at 13.6 and the platelets are well within the normal range at 282. Even the white cells are hanging in there at 4.6.
Husband hates taking Septrin as well as the low dose of Penicillin but we’re told that he’ll be on Septrin for at least 6 months, possibly longer. The Penicillin is because he has no spleen, the Septrin is to protect him from a particular kind of pneumonia which would be very dangerous for him.
We hardly dare to ask the doc if he thinks we’ll be able to go on holiday in September but his response is relaxed and smiling, which is encouraging: “The way you’re going now I don’t see any problem for France in September”.
Husband does feel really washed out at the moment. He thinks it’s the two sets of antibiotics two days after the second day of chemo. That seems to be his toughest day. He’s been going to bed for a sleep most afternoons, sometimes twice, but has still managed to file a business VAT return bless him. Work never fully stops.
He’s managing to eat, although he feels a bit queasy. His skin is really looking better! He still gets breathless when he pushes himself at all or just when walking the dog but he’s able to be much more active than we’d feared. He fears being cooped up indoors!
He has a huge health problem but today there are no immediate crises. Now is the time of stability I’ve been craving. Now is the time to enjoy walking the dog together, eating together.
A few days later and he looks good and feels good. He’s even feeling hungry – such a small thing perhaps but it’s great to see him wanting and enjoying food. He seems to have got through this chemo even better than the last, although his head feels a bit fuzzy.
He definitely doesn’t have ‘the cancer look’ at the moment. It’s great to see him enjoying the outdoors but it’s bitter sweet because we have no idea how long that will last. Cancer is so cruel.
We’re possibly at the start of a lovely phase of stability (as far as you can have stability with cancer), when we can try to retire and have the odd holiday.
Or… we’ll face the bitter disappointment of a short remission, the inexorable march of this insidious disease.
I can’t help but worry that whatever they throw at the cancer his bone marrow continues to produce cancerous cells of different kinds.
Dear Lord please teach me perspective whatever comes our way, please open my husband’s mind to your truth so that he doesn’t have to face this alone, to die alone and worst of all, to face eternity suffering away from you. May he come to know your peace in this life and the next.