“Happy New Year. How are you?” We never know quite how to respond to this. People want to hear good news – now more than ever. The honest truth is “We don’t know. We’re waiting for blood results.” We are … Read More
Professor Axel Kahn spoke to France Inter about cancer having ‘caught up with him’ after all these years. He’s not unaware of the irony. He explains, “as a cancer specialist myself I know that in all likelihood I am on … Read More
The Prime Minister is in hospital, the Chief Medical Officer is isolating, the Queen addressed the nation to steady nerves. Oh boy. It feels so weird that we’re living untouched in our little bubble but there are COVID cases at … Read More
A neighbour has died of cancer. She wasn’t young but that’s not the point. Cancer sucks. It kills people. I’m fed up of seeing the devastation it causes. I hate it. Mum came round and we had a jolly chat … Read More
I’ve had to go away to work for a few days. I know husband doesn’t need me at home but I really didn’t want to go, like a dog not wanting to leave his post. Getting away from the business … Read More
We are both so tired – managing cancer and ME is not great. There is no let up with work, no temporary pass each time we have to confront the cancer with another hospital appointment. I’m tired of pretending that … Read More
Husband feels pretty good all things considered. He’s walking faster and more easily than he was during the first cycle. He isn’t sleeping well, though and the steroids are not exactly helping. His ankles are a bit swollen – seems to … Read More
One can’t prepare for loss. More than once in my life I’ve been sure I knew what was coming (eg my cancer that wasn’t) and mourned in advance. This overwhelming stress was pointless yet ultimately so good for me. I … Read More
I’m grieving before time. Perhaps that’s inevitable but I think it’s more my faulty thinking. I used to panic Husband would have an accident, now I panic about the lymphoma. There is no evidence to support my fears. This is … Read More
I am so desperately tired and drained, weary to my bones. My ME fatigue seems worse, more deep-rooted these days somehow. I’m running inwardly – I’m not sure from what but it’s exhausting. I’m probably running from husband’s cancer, from … Read More